The Weekly Hangover is a gathering place for all the miscellaneous news, blog posts, and articles that were interesting and sports related, but yet not quite enough so for me to bother clambering down into my mother’s basement to write about. Served with a heaping helping of sarcasm, market price.

- I’ve heard it said that “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorn”. After this week, I’m convinced that should be changed to read “Hell hath no fury like a Minnesota Vikings fan with a popular sports blog shortly after reading Peter King’s Monday Morning Quarterback the day after Farve Happened”. Unfortunately, that phrase just doesn’t roll off the tongue as well, does it?

I’m sure I don’t give a sh**. YOU RUINED US, YOU F***ING D**K. NOW I HAVE TO SIT HERE FOR EIGHT MONTHS WHILE YOU DO YOUR F***ING UNRETIRING CRAP, CONTINUALLY PUSHING BACK THE DREADED “LET’S START T-JACK FOR ANOTHER YEAR” WASTE OF A SEASON AND F***ING GOD D***IT THIS TEAM WILL NEVER GO TO A SUPER BOWL AND I HOPE THEY ALL DIE IN A FIREQUAKE.

Guess this mean Drew won’t be there when the Vikes hoist an NFC North Division Champ banner next year?

- If you needed any further proof that not re-signing Jason Bay was a foregone conclusion by the Red Sox, here it is. The team doctor finds something in the physical (no chance he’s biased, right?), so they pull the original deal off the table. Bay gets a second opinion and that doctor says everything is fine. They get a third doctor both sides agree on, he says everything is okay… and the Sox still tell the guy to go screw. There are plenty of reasons why Boston could be better off without Bay, but please spare me how it was about money. For whatever reason, he didn’t ring Theo Epstein’s chimes and so he had to go, period.

- Fanhouse came up with their “Top 10 Most Difficult To Trade” NBA players and guess what? Gilbert Arenas is on the list! In related news, rain falls from the clouds and Peter King visited yet another Starbucks this week…

- This one comes to us courtesy of “Stupid Commenter’s Corner”… Things start out okay with Total Pro Sports posting an amusing GIF of a couple hockey players – one drops his gloves, ready to fight, starts skating backwards, and then falls ass over teakettle before anything else can happen. Good clean fun had by all. The original post says the player who dropped his gloves tripped over his own skate and was, as the kids say, “pwned”. However, many of the commenters graciously pointed out that he did not, in fact, trip but was tripped by the other player’s stick. Which lead to this wonderful bit..

flasmesuckit: For all you jackasses not paying attention and saying he was hooked look at the position of ruutu’s blade just before the fall. his blade is pointing away from the player and not hooking his leg, when the flamer “tripped” *cough*DIVE*cough* his leg kicked the stick away. Besides I have never met a person strong enough to trip a guy in the air like that as he is turning his body the way he did. This was infact NOT a trip, maybe learn some physics before you start calling people f***s.

jackass.

Normally, I shrug something like that off and chalk it up to (as Bill Hicks once said) yet another fevered ego tainting our collective unconscious. However, it elicited perhaps the greatest scientific retort I’ve ever read… at least in the comments section of a sports blog…

Logic: “Flasmesuckit” your logic is flawed.

First, Ruutu’s blade is facing away because it is behind the Flames player’s left leg.

Second, I’m not sure what you call physics, but the Pauli exclusion principle dictates that no two objects can occupy the same place, thus causing the flames player, who is both top heavy and lacking friction due to the fact he is skating, to be knocked off balance. This, coupled with a well known physics force referred to as “Earth’s gravity,” which is a constant force of approximately 9.81m/s^2 at surface level, acting on all objects, depending on the object’s distance from the core, leads to the conclusion of the Flames player would fall backwards in the direction he was skating because the blade does not have enough surface area to provide a normal force great enough to change his direction.

Maybe you should ACTUALLY learn some physics. Hypocrite.

All I have to say is this…

- Former NBA benchwarmer Paul Shirley decided that with all the goodwill and relief supplies flooding into Haiti after the island suffered a catastrophic earthquake, that the rest of the world was thirsting for his opinion on the matter… and completely shot whatever credibility he had as an enlightened figure all to Hell. Whether you choose to contribute to disaster relief is a personal matter and I think it should stay that way – but when you basically say I don’t want to send money because I’ll be reinforcing theses poor people’s tendency to be poor. Why don’t they develop a jumpshot and become a journeyman basketball player like me? Not to go all Keith Olbermann here, but Paul Shirley… I am glad that ESPN dropped you like a bad habit. You sir, are a douche.

- In lighter news, Brian Cashman says that the Yankees don’t have room in their budget to pursue a contract with Johnny Damon. Initially, this may sound ridiculous since the Steinbrenners heat their homes by burning hundred dollar bills, but after some thought it does make sense. He isn’t saying the Yanks are out of money, just that they won’t be scratching any checks for a 36 year old outfielder who needs three cutoffs to reach homeplate. Now, it’d be pretty easy to make the standard joke about Cincy and Detroit possibly biding for the rights to watch Damon fall apart like the Bluesmobile in 2010, but consider that the Red Sox thought he was cooked a few years ago and he’s defied the odds by being a productive player for New York, playing in over 140 games over the past 4 years with decent AVG, OPS, and power (for him). In fact, I’m so confident in his continued success that I’m starting an office pool for when the Damon-HGH jokes will start this coming season – anyone want in?

- Things I Won’t Be Mentioning This Week Because They’ve Been Beaten Into The Ground By The Blogosphere… The coach who made the trick shot he wasn’t supposed to make.

Enjoy the weekend folks.

1. The Weekly Hangover: January 15-22, 2010
2. The Weekly Hangover: January 29 – February 5, 2010
3. The Weekly Hangover: January 9-15, 2010
4. The Weekend Hangover: New Jersey Brown Bagger Edition
5. Family Versus Sports