The Weekly Hangover is a gathering place for all the miscellaneous news, blog posts, and articles that were interesting and sports related, but yet not quite enough so for me to bother clambering down into my mother’s basement to write about. Served with a heaping helping of sarcasm, market price.
- According to a new study published in The Wall Street Journal, the average NFL game contains 10 minutes 43 seconds of action (or roughly 8 minutes 30 seconds if you’re watching the Bills). I’m shocked to say that I’m shocked, having never realized so much time was wasted on watching fat men milling around on the field waiting to beat the tar out of each other. The one part that isn’t shocking is this – around one out of the three hours the average game takes is commercials. The bright side is that there’s not too much more space for them to cram them in without breaking for commercial while punts are in the air. (via Chris Chase @ Shutdown Corner)
- Seems that Ray Allen isn’t a big supporter of letting fans vote for the starters in the NBA All-Star game either, saying it has “watered down” the game. With Tracy McGrady and Allen Iverson thisclose to starting despite one not even wanted by his team (and playing in only 8 games) and the other getting in on name recognition alone, I can’t imagine why he’d think that. Listen, I understand that it’s a mixture of respect and a lifetime achievement award to get Iverson in there, and I’m somewhat okay with that. I’d prefer he make the team and be made a ceremonial captain without starting, but I can live with him getting the nod. McGrady, on the other hand, is completely shameful – not only does his team not even want him to play for fear he’d screw up the other players, but he has barely played this season. The NBA, of course, is fine with things the way they are as long as the cash keeps rolling in.
- Well, that whole “Pants On The Ground” thing was amusing while it lasted, huh? As if I needed yet another reason to dislike Brett Favre, that numbnuts country bumpkin decided to celebrate Minnesota’s win over Dallas this past Sunday with his own rendition of the YouTube classic. I’m glad that John Madden retired and wasn’t around to see it, because he probably would’ve given himself a hernia, so profuse would his mirth and admiration of Favre and how he’s just a big ol’ kid playing the game out there. No, he’s a shyster of the first order who has carefully cultivated his image and is nothing more than a primadona. It’s too bad real life isn’t more like professional wrestling, because halfway through the video General Larry Platt would’ve come through the door with a chair, smacked Favre across the back of the head, laid a couple more shots in while he was on the floor, and then stood over him smiling. I’m sure that goes against the whole non-violence deal from back in the day when he was marching in civil rights rallies, but I think it’s important for you people to know these are the things popping into my head on a daily basis…
- Looks like Stephon Marbury has a little basketball left in him after all. The guy who now has his shoe logo tattooed onto his dome for the rest of eternity has signed up to play ball in China for Shanxi. Starsbury won’t be pulling down big money for this gig, but that’s okay since this opens up a whole new market for his cheap inexpensive sneaker line. What’s even more appealing is that he’ll probably clear a few extra cents on each pair since he’ll probably be living right next door to the factory where they’re made.
- Allegedly, Tiger Woods is currently in sex addiction rehab for… well… boinking pretty much anything that moves. The story comes from Benoit Denizet-Lewis, author and recovering sex addict, who claims that the world’s most famous golfer and philanderer is working out his issues at a clinic in Hattiesburg, Mississippi. Because, as we all know, anyone who’s already profiting from selling books about sex addiction would have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to gain from including the famous golfer in the universe in a future book…
- This week’s Paragraph That Is So Good That I Wish I’d Written It And Which Will Probably Haunt Me For The Rest Of My Life (still working on that title, by the way, any suggestions?) comes from With Leather and regards the ascension of Vince Young to the Pro Bowl…
I love how playing in the Pro Bowl has become the NFL’s Friday night swing shift at Denny’s. But as much as it sucks for being another game on the schedule, I’d argue that it’s worse for quarterbacks since the offensive lines are so mish-mashed and inconsistent. It’s a game that nobody really needs, sort of like an appendix or a third nipple. Well, I guess it’s a fifth nipple, now that Vince is going…
The truth hurts – everyone wants to make the Pro Bowl and nobody really wants to play in it. Why get hurt and short yourself on potential millions down the road for a glorified exhibition game? By the way, how far down the voting would they have gone before hitting The Sanchezception? Fifteenth maybe?
- Now here’s a real tempting offer for professional athletes: the folks over at Food Court Lunch are offering their services as your official fall guy. At this very moment, Plaxico Burress and Ray Lewis are wishing they’d known this sooner and most every NBA rookie has bookmarked the page.
- Looks like we have a goal of the year candidate already – from the Victoria Salmon Kings of the ECHL…
EMBED-Victoria Salmon Kings Goal Of The Year – Watch more free videos
See you folks next week, enjoy some football and have a pop or two for me.
